For those who know me and know I am prone to making many silly jokes, let me say the title of this post is not a euphemism in any way. You never know who may be reading. Therefore it's important to try not to be obscene or inappropriate, and to at least project a cloak of class.
For as a man much wiser than myself once observed, "in some company it's perfectly all right to prick your finger, but very bad form to finger your prick"
Cookery shows have always fascinated me. I've come across many chefs in my time, and most ( with some exceptions) are contemptuous and despicable. Even the ones on TV. Gordon Ramsey, what an arse. Jamie Oliver, effusive to the point that it is grating. And I only like Nigella for two reasons. The same two reasons that has many men tuning in while their wives cook them the dinner. The one on the left and the one on the right. The only TV chef I remember liking was the late Keith Floyd. His shows were often filmed on location so that he could actually be cooking in old Greek ruins or maybe on a yacht in the middle of the mediterranean, or even in a Rugby stadium. He was an eccentric and flamboyant man and often cooked with a glass of wine in hand. A glass of any sort of alcohol in fact.
The process of food preparation just fascinates me. To the point that ( I am hesitant as to whether to write this down or not) I would spend a whole morning watching cookery programs, with no real motive to cook anything I see. What attracts me is the aesthetic of seeing red and yellow peppers sizzling in oil in a pot. Or a seasoned sea bass on top of a hot pan, or a plate of tomatoes that have been roasted in basil and thyme and lemon juice.When I see that, I find the most subtle hint of an aroma seems to emanate from the television and fill my nostrils. Sounds like bollocks I know. But it's true. I imagine many people share this feeling.
I don't cook very often, and when I do, it's usually very basic. However I believe yesterday I cooked one of the best things I have ever cooked. I had some of it for lunch today as well. Even nicer today than it was yesterday. It was a spaghetti sauce.
At the risk of sounding like an annoying TV chef, I'll explain this recipe. Please indulge me :)
Slices of pepperoni
Half a Red Pepper
Half a Green Pepper
Half an Orange Pepper
Half an Onion
Two tins of Tomatoes
Tomato Puree
Paprika
Oregano
Reggae Reggae Sauce ( the secret ingredient)
Throw the chopped up onions and peppers into a pot of oil and let them sizzle for 2 minutes
Chop up the pepperoni and sprinkle some paprika on top. Throw them into the pot too.
Drizzle some reggae reggae sauce on top. I found this in the cupboard while I was looking for paprika and thought sure why not? They say cooking is all about creativity, and after briefly tasting the reggae reggae sauce, I decided it was going into the mix.
Next is to throw in two tins of chopped tomatoes. Mash them all up and let them come to the boil, stirring often. Throw in some oregano and a little more paprika.
The final touch is to stir in some more Reggae Reggae Sauce. Let it all boil up.
What you get is a tomato based sauce which has chunky bits of peppers and a nice hint of hot 'n' spice from the Reggae reggae sauce, and a subtle sweetness from the paprika.
Throw onto spaghetti, get a bit of black pepper and grated parmesan, and wash down with a nice glass of something nice.
If you like spaghetti and you're in the mood for cooking, try this out and I don't think you'll be disappointed.
I've called it John McGovern's Pasta Sauce. That's what the pros do. :D
