Bear Grylls in .........London!

One of my favourite shows on tv has got to to be Born Survivor, presented by Bear Grylls. Not only does it contain beautiful exotic locations and remote landscapes which normally wouldn't feature on any other show, but it features modern day Hercules Bear Grylls negotiating himself through the danger for all the folk watching at home. I've noticed on many occasions an easier way for Bear to do things, but he is always thinking of the millions at home when he dives into a swamp, barely dragging himself across to the other side, preventing himself from sinking by sheer power and athleticism. He looks like he enjoys it too.
   I think though, what he enjoys most is the brutal slaughter of every animal in his path. Sure, he needs food, but I think the real reason Bear hunts down innocent frogs and deer and scorpions ( Yes, he eats scorpions) is his insane and psychotic urge to kill. When going naked through a freezing cold river, desperately struggling to battle against the flow, I'm sure deep inside he has the thought of what to kill next to warm him up and give him the motivation. Any anger he now feels will be taken out on the first animal he finds.
For example: Bear walks into a tunnel. He sees a big frog sitting there minding it's own business. He beckons camera crew over and picks up the frog.  For the audience benefit, he tells some facts about the frog, useless trinkets of cultural insignificance. I imagine people at home watching, from the warmth of their fires " Hey look kids, ah so this is the Vietnamese Tree Frog.. Wow, it can really do that?? Interesting....Whoa hang on, Bear what you doing!?!"
The thrill of the living room -explorer is soon gone, as he watches as Bear grabs the frog by its back legs and brutally smash it's head repeatedly against a stone ledge, a maniacal look of fury in his eyes. Not one for subtlety, is Bear. Once again, I know he needs food but...........He even stabbed a reindeer in the head, drank blood from its throat, and ripped it's heart out!!!! A reindeer!!!

This trend continues in every episode, usually more than once. I think the producers of the show purposely send him to areas where he can unleash his fury. What I really want to know is... why is Bear like this?? What incident in the past with wildlife provoked him into this life of chaos, hostility, and murder?? What makes him tick??? What does he eat for breakfast when living at home??
In fact, I'm not sure Bear should live at home, in an area full of other people. I can only imagine him sitting at home, waiting for nightfall, the cover of darkness, speaking into an invisible camera....
   " Ok, night time has fallen here in London, and now is precisely the time to hunt with minimum risk of danger..... Just at the end of the street lives an old widow, and if i can just hop over this big wall, and silently squeeze in through this small window, And silently creep in to her room without waking her, I'll have a good meal for tonight"

Poor Old Rudolph won't be turning up for work this Christmas

I still like him though, he has a cool name. Combines two of the most manly things you can get. Bears and Grills.

Smuggling Peanuts

       
I am glad now to be in the full swing of things in Preston, even though at the moment the level of work looks daunting. One of the things I've been enjoying lately is watching Friends. I don't care what anyone says, Friends was a good show, especially when you compare it all the other moronic drivel that does be on the box these days. 
Amidst all the absolute shite that I flick through on mornings/ afternoons spent hungover on the couch, I find that Friends is the only reliable programme I can catch. This is because E4 seem to show it constantly. And here I know they show Scrubs ALL THE TIME too, but I'm really sick of Scrubs. Does Every single episode have to have a meaning?!? Or some sort of moral lesson!? Sickening. And the writers of Scrubs are hypocrites too, those moral lessons have clashed on more than one occasion.
But Friends is guiltless fun. Something that ya can sit there and chill and watch and not think too hard. Another big reason would be Jennifer Aniston. Not a bad actress, quite funny but I think all the lads know what I mean when I say Jennifer Aniston.
  Even now yeah, but in the old days? Oof Madonn'
And I dunno if its the tight t shirts, or whether the set is very cold, or whether she is always horny, but at least once in every episode without fail, she will be smuggling peanuts.So that's Two more reasons. Oh Riiiight