Pissing while Pissed

I'll tell you one thing and I wont tell you two things. Well, I probably will end up doing just that, but I like the figure of speech.
Now, when going out for a few drinks, there are very few things one should worry about. And if one has any worries, after the few drinks take their toll ( I find a few drinks does wonders to lighten up one's soul), all the worries become nothings and pieces of piss. But, and not to be crude, piss leads me on to my point and my topic of this blog. It is, ironically,  for me the essence of perpetual worry when it comes to going on a night out, be it a in a pub, a club or a restaurant. A club in fact is the biggest factor when it comes to this worry.

Bathroom Etiquette: I enter the bathroom. I lock the door. If there is a sprinkle left over, I clean it up. I wash my hands, thoroughly.

If I'm in a nightclub however..... I go into the bathroom. Depending on the amount of high class beverages I've enjoyed on the particular night, I'll either go straight to the urinal or straight to a cubicle. I'll have to put up with taking a piss in the urinal amongst several other people of probably as drunk a disposition as myself, and this leads to concern for more than one reason.
A. It is very important to aim properly. And avoid backsplash. Wearing jeans or dark coloured material may let you get away with the visual aspect of backsplash, but I've learned the hardway that a pair of grey slacks will make you look like a clumsy fool.
B. Engaging people in conversation while at the urinal. Sample conversation:  Man one says:" Awh man Arsenal were savage today" Man two: " Fuckin tell me about it pal" End of sample conversation. These conversations will usually extend to two sentences at most. Sentence one is being friendly, by sentence two you realise you are taking a piss and that talking to a complete stranger a yard away from you while doing so is a bit awkward and just doesn't feel right.
C. This for me is the biggest thing that bugs me while in the jacks. And it's the most simple, most basic, most decent thing ya can ever do after working on the auld waterworks, if ya get me drift. Why can't people ( and ladies, as I've only ever been in a ladies toilets once, and not by choice, I can only assume it's only men who don't do this) not wash their bloody hands before leaving the toilet???? Now you may think this may not impact upon me , ( I assure you i wash my hands profusely)  cos i may not know the specific person I see doing this and may not interact with them for the whole night, BUT when they leave the bathroom they have to put their dirty, filthy, wet hands on the door handle. Germs, bacteria etc... these bugs bug me. I have to go through them to leave.
I can only hope that I have enough drinks not to worry about it, at the time.
:D

Crossing the bridge

 A pint of Guinness is a beautiful thing. It just keeps giving. Pint number 1.. Just to refresh you and quench your thirst, Pint number 2, usually occurs because of the simple rounds system ( ie i buy us two pints, then you buy us two pints).. When it comes to number 3, it comes to decision time.  Having pint number 3 is like crossing a bridge. , a glorious, heavenly bridge.It's either go home, good luck , I'll see ya later, or crossing the bridge, because what this bridge leads to is more pints, alot of craic, and a slow but steady loss of sobriety. 

Last night after a few pints ( not a few too many...yet) sitting in O'Neil's ( Yes an Oirish bar, yeow) I watched as my new house mate hesitantly stammered when asked if he wanted another drink in this round. He looked At Lawless's empty pint glass, took a glance over at me as I drained the last of my porter into me, and then finally his eyes rested on his own 2 thirds full pint of Strongbow that he had been nursing for the last few minutes. ( He is studying to be a nurse but, I mean, this was just too much). Anyway He had hardly the time to contemplate the answering of this question when a full pint was put down in front of him. As I waited on the next guinness, He said to me he was told that if he ever went out drinking with Irish people, they would drink him under the table. I assured him this was the case, and pointed to the evidence that was still in front of us in the form of empty Guinness Pint glasses. He stared blankly at them and began upping the tempo with his own Pint of Strongbow.  This is going to be trouble, I thought. 

The few Irish words yer man knew ( we had taught him earlier that day) were then regurgitated about a hundred times back to  us over the new few hours. Not really a stickler for the Irish language, I found myself becoming one when I began correcting him on his pronunciation. Unfortunately, I don't know the Irish for " SHUT UP THE FUCK!!!"  Ah jaysus. Surprisingly, in his stumbling, mumbling and blind drunk state, that was all he regurgitated. Ah well, better luck next time.     

Grammar

Just a quick note on my title " McGovdogs's Blogs"
I am fully aware of the grammatical error in this, I am not illiterate.
This error was not pointed out to me by any third party, I in fact noticed it right after I posted it.
I think I might change it though, I know how pernickety some people can be about grammar. The queen's English and the likes. Although ya know I don't mind making a few mistakes with a language that is, in theory anyway, my second language.
I mean everybody makes mistaks. Sorry, mistakes*

In the beginning

Blog number 1 just to get me up and running. I guess you could call this a test blog. "Thee Test Blog." I however am going to call it " In the beginning".  Soon there will be a middle. A lot of middle.